i am a cryer. always have been. i cry when i am sad, scared, lonely, frustrated, angry, or hurt. i also cry when i am happy, surprised, inspired, proud, safe, moved by beauty. i cry when i see others crying or hurting. i cry when i think about the past. i cry when i think about the future. i cried on this day, my 38th birthday. thinking back i have cried on every birthday since the day i was born. i cried when i woke early, opened the curtains, and saw the sun rising over the ocean. it was cloudy. the palm trees were whipping in the wind. it was beautiful. i cried because i felt awe and gratitude to be alive. i cried because i thought about all that i had experienced during the last year and all that was a head of me in this new year of my life. later that day as we all walked on the beach searching for feathers, shells, and sand to bring home with us, i cried once more. i was so moved by my children. i watched with wonder the way they played. how they felt the wind in their hair and the sand between their toes. the way they chased the birds. the way their little eyes looked at the big, powerful ocean. they fill me with so much joy, i don’t know how to hold it all inside. so i cry.
