i need to be honest with you. for nine months i struggled. i felt ashamed that i wasn’t enjoying our time together or our connection. actually, i didn’t feel connected at all. i was unavailable to myself, to everyone and everything. it isn’t easy to come clean like this. but i must. i need to acknowledge the darkness as i walk away from it, as i turn to the light, as i begin to reconnect. as i fall deeper in love with you with each new second.