Heather Robinson Photography » Blog

the way shadows work

we took the doorknob off your bedroom door because you were constantly locking out not only us but also yourself. now when you want to be alone to build your “inventions”, you sneak off to little sister’s bedroom and lock her door behind you. but your solitude is short-lived because she is always just a few steps behind you. that’s the way it is with shadows.

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just for me

today i met up with a childhood friend. it had been many years since we last spoke. as we ate lunch, she spoke of her career. when it was my turn to talk about what i do each day, i felt the need to downplay my accomplishments with “justs”. i spoke of how my days are filled with JUST taking care of four kids and JUST taking photos of them and JUST writing about our family life. she wasn’t judging me one bit. so, why was i? after lunch we hugged goodbye and i rushed home to nurse you. later as i changed your clothes, i paused to take you in and reflect. i reminded myself that it was i that made sacrifice after sacrifice to give you life. it was i that worked so hard day and night to put those rolls on your arms. and that little smile that i see on your face is JUST for me.

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the effect of her being

“But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive:

for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts;

and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been,

is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life,

and rest in unvisited tombs.”

– George Eliot, Middlemarch

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Heather Robinson

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Amanda Voelker

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uniquely you

you may share physical attributes with your older brother and sister but you are uniquely you in every other way. it isn’t as though you need me or love me any less than they do. but, there is this tenacity about you. although i adore your spunk, it always catches me by surprise. like today when i dropped you off for your first day of school. after watching you play for a few minutes, it was time for our goodbyes. i wasn’t ready. i hugged you and told you that i loved you. you reciprocated. then i lingered peering deep into your blue eyes. searching. i was trying to find some sign of fear or apprehension. i was ready to soothe. i had done this many times before with the older two. diffusing a clingy moment is something i have had lots of practice doing, so i waited for it. but not you. you were tired of waiting. you looked deep into my blue eyes and said, “now go away”.

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breathing in you

yesterday as we walked in “the big woods”, i breathed in the light, the colors, and you. tomorrow as i walk you into your first day of preschool, i will do my best to breathe in your bravery, strength, and joy. because even though i am not ready for this next change, my goodness you are.

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