i couldn’t possibly prepare enough for you. i tried. but how was i to know whether the pictures i drew of you on my heart would measure up to these pictures i now make of you? right now your body takes up such little space. but you will grow into it quickly. it has only been six days and already your existence fills up every inch of our home making it swell with abundance. even if i had wanted to, i never could have prepared myself for this feeling of plenitude.
my wise little girl, you said, “mama, crying is how babies talk.”
this baby of ours has a lot to say. if only i could speak his language.
the water outside rises up towards us spilling in below our feet. it hammers down above us seeping in the cracks. yet i find us a warm, dry place to safely watch the storm. your cries, my shushing, and the pouring rain work together in perfect unison. i sway to this rhythm so instinctively that it takes me a while to realize that the sound of your voice is no longer real. it is an echo that took a wrong turn and got trapped in the maze that has become my mind. as i release your voice, i notice the rain is slowing. i am now silently dancing to only the cadence of your gentle breathing.
i had not planned to take your picture. there were one hundred and one other things i was supposed to be doing. thank goodness for that magical color changing line on your diaper. i placed you on the dresser ready to change you. but something cool happened. you stopped crying and actually opened your eyes. then you fist bumped the light. so i had no choice but to take your picture magical blue line and all.
our first morning in the beach house was spent like most mornings at home. you slept straight through it. normally you would sleep the entire day away. but like magic the light in this house woke you and persuaded you to look around and see the beauty of this place. this place that each of your siblings have come to every summer of their lives. this place that your father and his siblings have enjoyed year after year. this place that your grandmother and her siblings have visited all of their lives. and now you get to finally open your eyes and witness its charm too.
